He Made All Things Beautiful
I wanted a sibling for Jayden long before he could utter the word “ma-ma”, especially when I saw the bond between my husband and his brother. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to watch cartoon with or share your ice-cream with? I didn’t have that chance, my parents ‘tutup factory’ after my arrival.
The day when I was tested positive (not HIV but pregnancy), I braced myself for the big event, swallowing folic acid like nobody’s business. We went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy but were advised to keep it low profile because the sac didn’t look too promising and to return for another visit to check for heartbeats. We prayed hard and I try to stay focused, eating regularly and just do whatever I can to help my little baby grow.
We were able to get a steady heartbeat on our next visit but the sac still didn’t look good. We were happy yet worried that something might not be right. After the visit, I started to bleed! So back to the doctor’s clinic again.
“Bleeding in pregnancy is very common. Fifty percent of pregnant women who bleed do not have miscarriages, don’t worry!”. “What about the other fifty percent ? “ I thought to myself. There were endless questions to God, and so many ‘what-ifs’. When you are in a situation like this, you need to have childlike faith. I asked God to protect and keep my baby no matter what. The doctor said most likely it is going to be alright because I didn’t have any pain. We praise God for His grace! The baby was good but was slow to grow.
Due to my condition, I was advised against travelling be it near or far, we were worshipping at Calvary in Damansara Perdana at that time. So, we began our journey to search for a church near our home, and we found FGT Sri Damansara. A quick check proved that it is indeed a safe church to go to. We were greeted by Bessie and Randy and yes, FGT SD is the perfect church for us - near our home and full of friendly people. Pastor and Bessie made an effort to chat with us every week, we really appreciate that.
After countless pills and injections plus hospitalisation, the bleeding continued for four and a half months. Deep down we know the baby will be taken away any time, but we still hope and pray that God will not let that happen. During this time, Proverb 3:5,6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight, kept repeating itself in my mind. At that time I do not know why.
Everything went on as usual, but there is just one problem, my bump was not growing like it is supposed to. A routine check up confirmed our worst fear. We lost our baby boy, Joshua I was given a pill to deliver him. We spent some time with Josh before the nurse took him away.
Kenny and I went through the grieving process. We took it hard. Yet, the Lord ministered to us with this verse: In His time, He made everything beautiful in His time – Ecclesiastes 3:11. We picked up the pieces and moved on, knowing Joshua is now safe in Jesus’ arms helped us to close this chapter of our life. It was hard to open our hearts to His Word when were in such pain, but we both knew it is our only option – hold on to Him no matter what comes our way.
One and a half months later, I shocked everyone even my dear husband. that I am expecting again. Fear, anxiety, joy - everything rolled into one. I went down on my knees to thank God for His promises and His faithfulness in our walk with Him.
Everything went on smoothly, God held my hands and I sailed through my third pregnancy. I gave birth to Ian right after Chinese New Year 2008. He is my bonus baby and a heavyweight champion. He brought so much joy into our family. He is indeed perfectly and wonderfully made. Praise God!
Looking back I can see how God protected us from this world’s pain. He prepared us with Proverbs and renewed His promises to us with Ecclesiastes. Sometimes He uses drastic measure to prove a point. Kenny and I both agreed that because of my troubled pregnancy – we found FGT SD. He has a master plan for us. We are now proud members of FGT SD.
Pearly Lim
FGT Sri Damansara
