King Me
We are all familiar with the game of checkers. One of the main strategies in checkers is to move your piece to your opponent’s end so that the particular piece is made ‘king’. When you have succeeded in doing so, you would tell your opponent to ‘King Me’. This aspect of checkers reminds me of my experience of joining my family business.
I joined my family business in 1997 at the age of 26. At that time, I had just returned home with an MBA degree from the UK. Being young, ambitious and driven by ideas from my studies, I had certain plans which I thought would be good for the company. My sister joined the company a year earlier and we had plans to change and grow the business.
The family business is a small set-up dealing with industrial chemicals and raw materials. It was started by my parents in 1970 (before I was born!). Even after many years, the business remained small in terms of personnel and sales. Being founder and owner of the company, my father had very high expectations of his workers and was very particular about how things were done. Together with a fiery temper, it was very tough for the company to retain good personnel. Before joining the company, I had my reservations on whether I could work with my father. But I decided to join the business because I felt it would not be fair to my parents if I had not at least given it some effort.
Immediately after I joined the company, friction between my father, and my sister and I was evident. We disagreed on many issues; how things operated in the office; whether things should be recorded manually or not; how closely should the staff be monitored; decisions that the staff could make, etc. In short, it was a classic case of two generations not seeing eye-to-eye.
There were also trust issues with the staff. My father felt that they had to be monitored at all times, while my sister and I would give them some freedom on how they worked. Even for reliable and hardworking staff whom my sister and I felt should be rewarded with bonus or increment, my father would object.
Several years after joining the business, I felt very stressed that I was not going anywhere in my career and the business was not achieving its true potential. Many times, I would be disappointed and tired with all the disagreements with my father. I thought about quitting. Just walk away because it would save me much grief. Besides, I could go out into the marketplace and find a better paying job with my degree and experience.
It was during that time when I asked God if He really wanted me to stay with the business. From my perspective, there was no reason to. But God clearly spoke to me through the story of David in 1 Samuel 24. As David was hiding in the cave and the opportunity to stab Saul in the back was there, he did not touch God’s anointed one. God showed me that if I quit the business, I would have stabbed my father in the back! It was clear that God wanted me to be there because He was working out some things in my life. I wanted my father to ‘King Me’ so that I could run the show the way I wanted. But God clearly showed me that my time to be king (as was David) was not right, and I needed to let God work out some heart issues in my life before I was ready.
As the years passed, I realized that God was dealing mainly with my pride. There were numerous times when He would allow problems or disasters to happen to the business because He wanted me to release control of the company to Him. I always thought it was my company and I had to make it grow. But it was God’s company and He will bless accordingly.
I also learned that even though working with my father was difficult, I still needed to honour him. There were times that I hated doing a particular task which he asked me to do (because I thought it was pointless or not productive), but I did it to honour him. I remember also travelling with my father overseas to meet suppliers at trade shows. My father would spend a long time talking to one supplier, when we could have seen many suppliers for other business opportunities. But God reminded me to honour my father by not complaining, and to trust that God will take care of our business opportunities. Again, God was stripping down my pride and to let Him take control of every situation. I had to learn to surrender my will to God and then see Him work out solutions for the business.
Today, I have been with the family business for more than 12 years. My father is now retired. Over these 12 years, I can honestly say that God had been good to our company. No, we do not make the Fortune 500 list! But year on year, we made some profit and were able to bless our staff with bonus each year. Some of our staff have been with us for more that 10 years, some longer. But I think the greatest blessing I received throughout these 12 years was God, using my father, to change my heart slowly but surely. Nowadays, I am less proud of my achievements, more humbled by God’s grace and favour; less trusting in my own abilities, more surrendered to the will of God; less judgmental and harsh towards people, more kind and gracious in my speech and actions. But there is still a long way to go as God is still shaping me to be more Christ like.
As for my father, I can see God changing him too. He used to be very hostile towards my Christian believe. But now, he would attend some special church functions during Christmas or Easter. He even attended a 10 week seeker Bible study for non-believers! He has not given his life to Jesus yet, we are still praying, but God is definitely softening his heart.
Looking back at my time in the family business, God has shown me He is more concerned about the process of changing my heart than the final result in any situation. Like a good game of checkers, this experience has taught me that it is not about winning or losing, it is how you play the game. And I am grateful to God for that.
Chong Nai Shear
Full Gospel Tabernacle, Subang Jaya
