Wanted: Lost Boy
It has been 5 years since I became a Christian. All I can say is that it has been a very tough & rough journey for me. I am the only Christian in my family and I used to cycle to church every Sunday by myself.
As I looked back at my life, I can see a lot of life changing moments and I am proud to say I am still glad to be where I am right now with God on my side.
When I was 14, I did things that nearly landed me in jail. It was so bad until I just sat in bed with a kitchen knife in my hand asking myself, “Should I continue to live?”
Ever since I was young, I felt I didn’t get the things I want. So I figured the way to solve this is by stealing money. I have been stealing for a few years without anyone noticing. I always got off the hook. Until one day.
I took my father’s cheque book and wrote THREE THOUSAND AND SIX HUNDRED ONLY and forged my father’s signature on it. I cheated one of my friends by exchanging that cheque for cash. I spent all that money within 3 days, buying all the things I longed for.
2 weeks later, the bank called my father to inquire about the cheque. My father was so angry that he pulled me into the car and headed for the nearest police station. It was out of coincidence that my friend’s parents came to my house at that moment and stopped my father from doing so. I considered myself lucky because the friend I cheated had understanding parents. They sat down and talked to my father to resolve the problem.
The next day when I went to school, no one dared to come near me because they heard about the incident. That made me depressed and I felt like a nobody for 3 months.
I began to seek God and found this church just down the road. I was introduced by my friend to attend this church. After my first visit, I told myself “Now God has given me a 2nd chance to continue my life purposefully. I will never ruin my life again. I will trust in God, acknowledge that Jesus is my personal Saviour and believe that He can change my life positively.”
I committed myself to this church, including serving and helping out. I met a lot of nice people who taught me life experiences that I could not get from education. And I tried to apply the lessons in my own life. The church has been kind to me, teaching me manners and also tips on how not to make mistakes in life.
I was a lonely child as my parents were frequently not at home. I tend to misbehave and was disrespectful to others. But thanks to church members who patiently taught me right from wrong.
In 2008, another tragic event happened in my life. I was stunned to find out my parents were separating over an argument. At that moment, I was not sure which side was right or wrong. All I could think of was to talk to my father. During our conversation, he reacted and told me that I am an adopted child. This was very hard for me to accept, at the age of 18. I went home and got drunk with alcohol. I cried in the toilet until my legs were too weak to even stand straight up. That night, a few of my church members took me out for dinner to comfort me. At that moment, I hated my father so much for not telling me the truth since I was young.
The next morning, I shared my pain with the pastor. He reminded me that my father will always be my father, whether I was adopted or born of him. I needed space and time to accept the truth. I couldn’t focus on my studies for weeks. However, after a few weeks my church members managed to cheer me up and I was able to smile again.
After Chinese New Year this year, I started meeting up with my father. He is not staying with us so I made it a point to have lunch with him once a week. I still respect him as my father, listen to whatever he says and most importantly, I try not to make him worry about me. My father still treats me the same even though my parents are separated. I am proud to have a father like him. After all these years, he is still a responsible father and he accepts me even after all the disappointments and mistakes I made.
I believe everything happens for a reason, it’s how we overcome it. I am still able to smile because I have found a Friend who never leaves me alone. He guides my steps and lifts me up when I am down. Thank you Jesus.
Kok Jia Sean
Full Gospel Tabernacle, Sri Damansara
